Hello, my name is Chance. I am a lesbian and I’m leaving the LGBTQIA+ community. I’m leaving primarily because I don’t know it anymore. I don’t feel a part of it and I don’t support its purpose which seems to have evolved from fighting for marriage equality to hyper-focusing on transgender rights.
Now, don’t get me wrong, its not that I don’t think people should have rights. But what rights are Transgender people fighting for?
Part of what is being fought for is being referred to as “gender affirming healthcare”. This could include cross sex hormones or surgeries. Many transgender people will say these surgeries and hormones are life saving. Without them, they claim the transgender person may commit suicide.
I know I personally wanted to commit suicide. But not because I didn’t receive gender affirming health care, but because I did. This is something that I don’t often tell people as I used to have a great deal of shame admitting that part of my past. You see, at one time, I had taken testosterone shots and identified as a transgender male. It has taken years to heal.
As I told you I’m a lesbian. I care deeply about women. I especially care about butch women and tomboys. But the way things are going, I think we may be a dying breed. Recently, I asked my niece who is in high school how many of her peers identified as lesbian? She could not name one. Rather, a whole slew of young women that are identifying as trans. This saddens me to no end. You see, if I could instill one thing in these young women it would be that it is okay to be a masculine girl or woman. Tomboy does not equal Transgender.
For me personally, I cannot begin to describe to you the horror of my gender affirming healthcare . I took a full dose of testosterone for over 14 months. During that time, I physically began to change. Facial hair, deeper voice and fat re-distribution. I went by another name and used he him pronouns. After about a year, the hormones really started to work. I didn’t look or sound like myself anymore. I had also begun to lose my sense of self.
At the end of my transition, I also had a plane ticket to Florida where I was to get a double mastectomy. I guess I started to get cold feet because I canceled my surgery. Then like a ton of bricks reality hit me. I realized if I was to continue with hormones, I truly would be trapped in the wrong body. There would be no going back. I quit hormones cold turkey. This was a disaster. My moods fluctuated hourly. I needed to be hospitalized for a week.
I tried looking for support for detranstioners. At the time, there were zero to no resources available. I found a few blogs on Tumblr with women who had detranstioned but I didn’t know anyone personally. It seemed like everyone was so willing to get me on the “transgender train” but no one was there to help me off. The resources I was able to find were like a lifeline for me. I read them over and over just for a little hope and just to stay alive. I was very suicidal.
I remember early on after quitting HRT, I wanted to check into a women’s treatment center. I called them only to be informed that the facility was for women not men. You see, I was unrecognizable on the phone or in person as a woman.
It’s taken years to recover from the trauma of transition and detransition. I’m also one of the lucky ones. I was able to return living as my birth sex. Some women cannot because of long time hormone usage or disfiguring surgeries.
I am speaking out today because there are literally thousands of women that have previously identified as transgender males. It breaks my heart to read their stories of regret. I feel their pain intimately. Some women have more damage than others depending on how long they took HRT or what surgeries that might have. There is lasting emotional and mental damage. I know for me, I thought about the regret constantly and how I had ruined my life and body. It took years to recover from this.
There are people fighting to change things and I will join them. I stand by Buck Angel, Blaire White, Scott Newgent, Marcus Dibs, Tucker Kergiel, Arielle Scarcella, Becky Weiss and so many others that are having the courage to speak out against what is happening.
I tell my story because other women need to hear it so maybe they won’t feel quite so alone. Maybe they will read my story and have some hope. Maybe a young person considering this lifestyle will realize that cross-sex hormones and surgeries will likely not fix a thing and possibly cause more problems than they can ever imagine. I am working towards creating a different world where young women do not feel like it is somehow better to look like a man and believe the fantasy that they can actually be one. If I could, I would tell each one that they are beautiful on the inside and out just as they are. I wish I could save them from the pain of transition and detransition.
So, that’s why I’m leaving the LGBTQIA+ community. It’s not the same community I marched with on Washington D.C. for Gay and Lesbian rights many years ago. It doesn’t represent me. It doesn’t protect women and is causing great harm to lesbians young and old.